Sunday, June 7, 2009

I think, therefore I am

I think a lot. That may come of having so much time to myself (I have a minimum of 10 1/2 hours alone Monday-Thursday, and 4 1/2 hours on Friday). I'm not sure if being pregnant has caused me to think more or just changed what it was I thought about. Whatever the case, I've had two seemingly unrelated recurring thoughts (among many, many others) which have simultaneouly been addressed and altered recently in one fell swoop. One happy thought I'd reveled in countless times was how wonderful it was going to be to have my parents (who moved just last year to a little town only 45 minutes away from us) so nearby once the baby was born. It wasn't just free babysitting. It was having grandparents to come visit or go visit just for the day any day. It was having my mom minutes away just in case I needed something...like advice or company or an escort to the grocery store. It was getting to share the baby with them; knowing that they wouldn't miss a thing. Knowing they were right here somehow made parenthood seem less daunting and more relaxed and exciting. Second, I'd mourned (a few times to the point of actual tears) the postponement (or more likely the loss altogether) of our trip to Europe. As long as Josh and I have been together (almost nine years now) we'd talked about travelling to Europe together. It was always this fantastic trip we could dream about, look forward to and save for even though we could never actually get the plans pinned down. It was more the potential of it that we cherished, I think. "When we go to Europe we'll see such and such or eat this or that or go here or there..." we'd say. It was always something that we were going to do before we had kids, yet it was always in our future. Then, this year came and the unexpected home repairs and baby came with it and I realized one day that we weren't going to Europe afterall. Our vacation money-the money we'd saved for our big hurrah before we started a family was now our fix-the-roof fund and a deposit on our new A/C and the money we were going to have to spend on the family we hadn't really meant to start yet. And so, being my usual thoughtful self I thought about these things at length. I mulled them over and then thought myself out of being disappointed about Europe in lieu of being excited about the baby and grateful for the fact that my parents were so close.

Then, not long ago, we found out my parents are moving to Belgium. Yes, like the country Belgium...across the ocean. And I had something new to think about. My parents weren't going to be close afterall. They were going to be an 8-10 hour flight across the ocean and a seven hour time difference away. We won't be visiting them just for the day any day. My mom won't be just minutes away if I need anything. We won't even be awake many of the same hours a day so I'll have to email for advice and Soda and I will be going many places alone. We are going to have to share the baby with them from afar and no matter how hard we try there are going to be lots of things they miss. My Europe trip no longer seems implausible, though. Now we will have not only an excellent excuse to go (along with help with the cost), but also somewhere to stay for free and someone to keep the baby so we can travel elsewhere from there. Not to mention the experience it will be for my parents (who have never been to Europe and will get to see so much of it while they're there!) It's an exciting traveling and cultural prospect for all of us- including Soda. And it isn't as though they were moving there permanently. They'll just be gone a couple of years, so Soda will be too little to remember they weren't here for his beginning. And they'll be here to meet him. Mom isn't moving until after he's born and my Dad will be back for a couple of weeks soon thereafter.
So now I've been thinking about these things instead of the former and in doing so have tried to think myself out of being disappointed that they won't be here and excited instead for all the opportunities this move opens up! Still, some days that's easier than others. I suppose this just isn't exactly how I imagined things would be when we had our first child...but then again not much lately has been the way I imagined it would be, and it's all been ok. In all my thinking I've always realized that the way things are isn't up to me...it's entirely up to God. And while things aren't likely to ever be exactly as I imagine them, they're likely to be better in the end.
"For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,"
Romans 8:28a
So- all that being finally explained, Mom and Dad got to go to Belgium (to Hasselt- which is probably where they'll be living, though Dad will be working in Genk) for over a week to explore the area and do some house-hunting. They got back last Monday and came over this weekend souvenirs in hand! Here are the Belgian goodies we got: The little bottles with the shot glass are samples of a local specialty called Genever and don't worry- I'm not trying any. Chocolates, naturally...(I can vouch for their yumminess already); jewelry; and of course some adorable things for the baby- see the bib (from a store called Fred and Ginger- I love it!) and wash mitt (with an owl- yay!)...cute, right? That magnet, we've been told, says "He who laughs last, thinks slow." in Dutch- LOL. We had to get Dad to read it aloud for us since neither of us had ever really heard Dutch. He's really been trying to learn to speak it and to us his accent was great!
**Thank you guys! I look forward to shopping these cute baby places myself...with the baby! We're glad you're home again for now, but just knowing you're going back sorta makes me miss you already! :)**

1 comment:

  1. Randi, as usual, this is very well expressed. I sat reading with tears because I know this is going to be tough for you and for your parents, but thankfully this is not a forever transfer! I am thankful for SKYPE.... get a camera for your computer and it will be a help!

    You have come to a realization many only reach later in life....that we are not in charge. Daily, we must flex our faith muscles and we must trust Him with our futures. It can be tough...especially for those of us who don't like surprises! I will be praying for you and for parents as you go through this hard time.....and remember you will love visiting Belgium.

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